He left behind a 4,000-word suicide note which began: “I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I will never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision.” In the note, Bill Zellar described how repeated sexual abuse as a young child haunted him for the rest of his life. He said in his note: “Most of my life has been spent feeling dead inside, waiting for my body to catch up.” Zellar, a 5th-year graduate student in the computer science department at Princeton University, died on Jan 5, 2011 at the age of 27 as a result of a suicide attempt. If you want to read the entire 4,000-word suicide note that he wrote over the course of a year, click here: Bill Zellar Suicide Note. Bill posted his suicide note on his personal website and e-mailed it to friends Sunday, Jan 2nd. Not long after his note was posted, first responders discovered him in his apartment. According to the note, he never discussed the incidents of his abuse with anyone. “This darkness,” Bill wrote, “which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me.” Friends and colleagues were shocked by the note’s content. “We didn’t know about 80% of what he wrote.” Bill excelled in his studies. He was a very caring person. His computer work always focused on creating concrete ways to help people using technology.